Social Skills Menu

From time to time, my daughter’s special education staff hand me papers with bits of useful information. The following lists come from a textbook, but I don’t have a reference. [If anyone knows where this comes from, let me know.] Some of the items refer to other sections of the book, and I don’t know exactly what they mean.

The Speech and Language therapist referred to this material as “Eye Contact 101″, basic social skills, but the list goes deeper than that, through skills all adults need to know to do well in life. [I see some I have to brush up on.]

• Nonverbal cues / Body Language

1. Expressing and reading welcoming vs. unwelcoming social cues
2. Interest vs. boredom social cues
3. Sarcasm vs. genuine expressions
4. Attending to others
5. Respecting personal space and belongings
6. Personal hygiene
7. Dealing with odd motor mannerisms

• Dealing with anger / frustration

1. Understanding your anger
2. Identifying triggers to your anger
3. Altering or avoiding triggers to your anger
4. Better ways to think about and deal with the triggers to your anger
5. Calming yourself when angry
6. Talking vs. acting out your feelings
7. Using the Daily Anger Record

• Dealing with anxiety

1. Dealing with anxiety and fear — understanding the alarm reaction
2. Dealing with unpleasant, intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors
3. Dealing with social fears
4. Dealing with new, feared situations

• Conversation

1. Saying hellos and goodbyes
2. Introductions
3. Politely interrupting
4. Maintaining and joining a conversation
5. Starting conversations with people you know
6. Getting to know someone new
7. POSTER: Summary of Starting and Maintaining Conversations
8. Conversation repair strategies
9. Politely changing topics
10. Being sensitive to the listener’s interests
11. Politely ending conversations
12. Answering the telephone and taking messages
13. Calling friends on the telephone

• Building and Maintaining Friendships (and dealing with roommates)

1. Where to find friends
2. Don’t try too hard too soon
3. Sharing friends
4. Avoiding touchy subjects and insults
5. Complimenting
6. Respecting other’s views
7. Don’t impose rules on others (minding your own business)
8. Avoid bragging
9. Dealing with peer pressure and avoiding setups
10. Empathic listening
11. Showing caring for others’ feelings through supportive statements
12. Deepening relationships — sharing personal information
13. Conflict resolution / Assertiveness
14. Dealing with teasing
15. Showing good sportsmanship
16. Giving attention in positive ways

• Dating

1. Where to find a date and how and when to ask someone on a date
2. Asking someone out on a date
3. Reading the signals — when to pursue a romantic relationship
4. Sexual harassment
5. Do’s and Dont’s on a date
6. Communicating clearly to meet each other’s needs

• Dealing with school and family demands

1. Asking for reasonable modifications
2. Dealing with frustrating work
3. Accepting no or waiting for what you want
4. Asking nicely for what you want
5. Working cooperatively in groups
6. Dealing with mistakes and correction
7. How to respectfully disagree with teachers, parents, or supervisors
8. Dealing with stressful living situations

• Employment skills

1. Choosing job / career directions
2. Conducting a job search
3. Writing a resume and cover letters
4. Scripts for networking with friends, relatives, and potential employers
5. Interview skills (and whether to disclose a disability)
6. Handling rejection
7. Dos and Don’ts to maintain a job
8. Responding to criticism, accusations, or complaints on the job
9. Exiting a job

• Money Matters

1. Managing money

• Preparing for Emergencies

1. Dealing with emergencies and emergency workers (such as police and hospital workers)

• Transportation

1. Negotiating transportation